I suppose with the challenges in life sometimes the hardest part is getting started. This will be my first attempt to put into words some of the "stuff" that get all mixed into the emotions of my days (and often nights.) I think I'll just start out with some free flowing thoughts. Truthfully, I'd rather not think about anyone else reading my stuff just yet. I can't imagine that it would be the least bit interesting to anyone else. I follow other's thoughts that are posted on facebook and other avenues of discussion and wonder how transparent yet superficial all at the same time. The things I want to write are neither and therefore harder to put in writing.
I'm trying to find a balance between hope and despair, pleasure and pain, optimism and pessimism, life and death. I am grieving the loss of health yet I still have enough health to truly be thankful. I am grieving the loss of ambition and energy to accomplish the bare necessities of life yet I want so much more than the bare necessities. I don't want to compromise and yet I do. I'm grieving the loss of who I used to be as a wife, mother, worker, person; yet in some ways I've grown so much more in my understanding of others' weaknesses through the lens of my own.
Enough for today yet as with everything else, not good enough.
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